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Katy Perry for Nobel Peace Award

Started by JohnP, May 28, 2017, 06:06:39 PM

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JohnP

MAYADIN, SYRIAâ€"Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State, released a statement Wednesday confirming that ISIS would be immediately surrendering its fight to establish a powerful caliphate after viewing an interview in which pop singer Katy Perry said, “The greatest thing we can do just unite and love on each other and like, no barriers, no borders, like, we all need to just co-exist.”

The powerful statement which single-handedly dismantled ISIS came shortly after a terrorist attack on civilians in Manchester killed 22 people, and led the reclusive head of ISIS to hold an emergency press conference declaring the group’s jihad finished.

“Despite my previous belief that we must slay the infidel in the name of Allah until Islam rules the world, I just can’t deny that Katy’s words have touched my heart,” al-Baghdadi said as he symbolically held up and then tossed an AK-47 onto the ground. “It is time for the mujahideen to start uniting and loving on people.”

“I just can’t believe we didn’t see it before. It’s all so clear now,” he added.

After the video started to go viral in ISIS cave networks and strongholds, thousands of terrorists began pouring out into the streets of Mayadin, giving one another spontaneous group hugs, destroying their weapons, and planting trees and flowers in an attempt to begin rebuilding the Middle East into a utopian wonderland.

According to reports, al-Baghdadi further confirmed that a recent advertisement in which Kendall Jenner offered a group of riot police a Pepsi was also influential in his decision to immediately cease their murderous reign of terror and lead ISIS down a path of peace.
When they come for mine they better bring theirs

Hawks Feather

John,

Thanks for posting this.  For some reason Drudge and other sites that I visit failed to mention it.

Jerry

tripnasty84

why did Ms Perry wait so long to make this statement? imagine the lives that could had been saved if only she hadnt kept silent! I hear kim jung un is soon to follow suit by decommissioning all his nukes!

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riverboss

All we need now is for Katlin Jenner to back her up and the whole world will become utopia!!
Hillary and Donald Trump will host key parts at the whitehouse.

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nastygunz

 That chick is nuttier than a pound of squirrel shit  :alscalls: