A little Police humor.

[HaMeR]

These  are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.  The comments were taken off actual police car  videos around the  country:

1.  "You know, stop lights don't come any redder  than the one you just went  through."

2.  "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're  new. They'll stretch after you wear them a  while."

3.  "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make  your birth certificate a worthless  document."

4.  "If you run, you'll only go to jail  tired."

5.  "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?  Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll  be chasing you."   (LOVE IT)

6.  "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess  that means I can write anything I want to on the  ticket, huh?"   (MY FAVORITE)

7.  "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,  but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I  mention that I'm the shift  supervisor?"

8.  "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning  you not to do that again or I'll give you  another ticket."

9.  "The answer to this last question will determine  whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a  cat or a dog?"

10.  "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a  place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton  candy and corn dogs and step in monkey  poop."

11.  "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my  wife gets a toaster oven."

12.  "In God we trust; all others we run through  NCIC."  (  National Crime Information Center  )

13.  "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you  had?"

14.  "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used  to, but now we're allowed to write as many  tickets as we can."

15.  "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is  a personal friend of yours. So you know someone  who can post your bail."

AND  THE WINNER IS....

16.  "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?  You're right, we don't.. Sign here   

[KurtisG]

   I almost peed my self!