Mens Rules

[Rick223]

Hey Jim I think we need a humor section what do ya all think?


>The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the
>guys' side of the story.
>(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>We always hear "the rules "
>From the female side.
>Now here are the rules from the male side.
>These are our rules!
>Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>
>
>
>1. Men ARE not mind readers.
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
>You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
>We need it up, you need it down.
>You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
>or the changing of the tides.
>Let it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
>And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want.
>Let us be clear on this one:
>Subtle hints do not work!
>Strong hints do not work!
>Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what
>we do.
>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
>In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
>act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
>Don't ask us.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something
>Or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both.
>If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
>Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
>have no idea what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
>We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
>nothing's wrong.
>We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
>don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...
>Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or golf.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
>1. Thank you for reading this.
>Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
>
>
>But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Bopeye]

Thanks alot!!!!!!!

I read these to my wife..........looks like I'm camping tonight.

[studabaka]

Silly boy..... Men's rules are only for bolstering ego's among the boys. Actually using them with the ladies is like putting your hand on the glowing red burner to see if it's hot. 

[Bopeye]

You  may be right, but after 12 years with my wife........I still have to learn everything the hard way.....

[nailbender]

 :roflmao: If only it were so simple!

[Rick223]

Well its always fun to imagine what life could be like.
Then its back to reality