So why DID the chicken cross the road? The experts of our time enlighten us…

[Coulter]

Barack Obama:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

John McCain:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in a cooperation and
                             dialogue with all of the chickens on the other side of the road.

Hillary Clinton:   When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me
                              uniquely qualified to ensure right from day one! That every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
                              cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

George W. Bush:  We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
                                 the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Dick Cheney:  Where's my gun?

Colin Powell:  Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Bill Clinton:  I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

Al Gore:  I invented the chicken.

John Kerry:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was
                          misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and I will remain against it.

Al Sharpton:  Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens?

Dr. Phil:  The problem that we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this left side
                     of the road before it goes after the problem on the right side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how
                     stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

Oprah Winfrey:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
                               instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take unnecessary falls, which is part of life, I'm going
                               to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
                              chickens.

Anderson Cooper, CNN:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the
                                           other side of the road.

Nancy Grace:  The chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Martha Stewart:  No one called me to warn me which way that the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
                                Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Dr. Seuss:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
                         I've not been told.

Ernest Hemingway:  To die in the rain, alone.

Grandpa:  In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that
                       was good enough.

Barbara Walters:  Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-
                                 warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of
                                 crossing the road.

Aristotle:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

John Lennon:  Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


This one is especially for you Jimbo...Bill Gates:  I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
                       and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more
                       stable and will never reboot.

Albert Einstein:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Colonel Sanders:  Crap, did I miss one?

[vvarmitr]

That's a good one Steve! 

I would have added a " :roflmao: ", but you didn't put this in the "Humor" section.