Just a thought - a good one

[Hawks Feather]

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.  Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.  We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and biodiesel.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.  You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.  We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.  You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.  When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.  You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McClain.  You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.  You can take whatever else is left.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.  We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.  I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute: Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.


Sincerely,
John J.  Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S.  Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.  And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

[msmith]

  

[HaMeR]

Damn I wish that would work.

[vvarmitr]

Sorry, but I ain't willing to divide this country w/ anyone. 
If you like socialism, move to some country that is that way & leave me the "L" alone. 
If you want to help the poor go to a 3rd world country. Don't make me poor & say you're helping me. 
Same for you Marxist! got to a Marxist country.  I'll stay here & capitalize on capitalism for the good of us all! 

Divide our country w/ a bunch of weenies!?!?!?  The Fore-fathers ought to raise up out of their graves & smack the pea-brain that wrote this along side of the head w/ their flintlocks!

[HaMeR]

Divide it up & when the dust clears we'll have it all back on our terms!!    FLUNK em all!! 

[bambam]

Sorry, but I ain't willing to divide this country w/ anyone. 
If you like socialism, move to some country that is that way & leave me the "L" alone. 
If you want to help the poor go to a 3rd world country. Don't make me poor & say you're helping me. 
Same for you Marxist! got to a Marxist country.  I'll stay here & capitalize on capitalism for the good of us all! 

Divide our country w/ a bunch of weenies!?!?!?  The Fore-fathers ought to raise up out of their graves & smack the pea-brain that wrote this along side of the head w/ their flintlocks!

  AMEN !!!!!

[FinsnFur]

Yeah but we'd get the hot hockey Moms

[vvarmitr]

Yeah but we'd get the hot hockey Moms

We already have the hot hockey Moms. 

Divide it up & when the dust clears we'll have it all back on our terms!!   

Divide & conquer.  If we divide, they conquer.  They just got half the country w/o a fight!
So we divide the country up in half then what? 
After a time they'll be in our half again.  What then? divide again so we don't have to fight? 

This kinda thinking is like making your house into a duplex & having illegal immigrants live in the other half so they won't bother you about living w/ ya. Would you laugh to yourself thinking how you gave them the worst of the house & kept the best for yourself, & they didn't get to have your wife, the hot hockey Momma either. 

[Carolina Coyote]

VV Old Buddy, I agree don't give them 1 Damn grain of the USA and don't pay one Damn cent to deport them, put them in a rowboat and watch them row out of sight with all of us on the bank whooping and hollering good by good by good by and good riddance.  cc

[HaMeR]

I guess that's the reasoning behind putting the 2nd bathroom in here.