Valentines day.

[pitw]

I read this and then went to the next post 'Got lucky today' and thought that maybe, just maybe, Barry had a good night.  Turns out 'Got lucky' had nothing to do with Barry and his popcorn.

Jerry

  Au contraire [or however them frogs write it].  I woke up with all parts attached and that sir is as lucky as it can get. 
  Bill, I was sure things were going to be bad when the wife and Bob got home as Booby took off to do chores, like a shot from a cannon, and hid out in the calf pen.  Seems he had warmed up mom for the rest of us .  I was really busy with the sausage and had time to compose myself with a full orange in my mouth[kept my face the straightest it was gonna be ] that stopped me from laughing.  Mandy kept a half smile on her face waiting for the explosion and Donny just helped a lot by asking her how she could be so clever .  Then as I was carrying in 15lbs of smoked summer sausage and Bam I stub my toe. Saying[louder than I'd planned, "Have sex with me[Kinda sorta]".  Wife says,"Can I", to which now I wish I had waited and thought out my reply of,"You already did when you gave Dave the $100 instead of using the AMA card she insisted I pay for before my sojourn down to the LBL".   Upon which the fight started as she got that look that says to anything, "Don't start" .  My toe quit hurting as soon as the first sausage slammed into my laughing face and Donny stepped on my chest in his rush to suddenly have to be at a hockey game outside.   After the clean up and wrapping the meat,  I was laying on the couch I thought about the day and can say it was a good one we will remember for some time . 
  I also called out, "I love you" when I shut out the light but I guess she was already sleeping with her light on as there was no reply [That I can print on here]

[Bills Custom Calls]

So you were in the pasture with the sheep and Jerry was sure you Got Lucky 

[KySongDog]

I gave my wife a card and a box of chocolates.  After 37 years of marriage, I think she deserves a little something.   If I was married to me, I would've divorced myself a long, long time ago.   

[FinsnFur]

 
  I also called out, "I love you" when I shut out the light but I guess she was already sleeping with her light on as there was no reply [That I can print on here]

ROFLMAO!!

[nastygunz]

I've always wondered what the guy who dates the gal that runs the floral shop does on Valentines Day.
If he gets her flowers, does he have to get them somewhere else, and then does the site of flowers disgust her.
Seems to me dating a the gal that owns the flower ship would be tough on a guy.

That thar is sum deeeeeeeep thinking 

[Tikaani]

Had a colonoscopy today, no lie.  Her gift from me was a promise my head was not up my A$$ like she thinks and I have film to prove it.

John

[bambam]

Poor Barry, beat to death with his own sausage. 

[FOsteology]

Somehow I just knew a sausage joke was going to be worked into this when I read Barry's post in the recipes section last night.... 

[pitw]

Dang Semp you got married at forty too .

[KySongDog]

I wuz a late bloomer.