I had a close call today. It is a little sketchy, but I will try to describe it exactly as it happened.
I am a truck driver in the oilfield. I have been carrying a small closed reed call in my pocket for those times when I'm loading and have some time to waste.
Today was just such a day. I decided to walk to the edge of the location and try to call a coyote. I put the call to my lips, blew and before I finished the first painful, scared, rabbit scream there was an explosion of movement about 20 or 30 yards in front of me. When something like this happens your first instinct is to determine possible danger. To do this you first must identify the animal then you must identify it's reaction, is it preparing to fight or flee. This animal was definitely moving toward me. I could tell it was grey. Meanwhile the animal had accelerated to nearly supersonic speed. I had yet to identify the animal but my mind had begun to speculate. Was it a wolf, or maybe a mountain lion, no, mountain lions are not grey, a bear, no, unless a black bear and a polar bear had some mutant grey offspring and it decided to migrate to a warmer climate, or even a T rex, what color was a T rex? I have never heard of a grey T rex sighting locally, but any T rex in his right mind wouldn't leave any witnesses to report on his whereabouts and possibly warn any future food supply.
While this was running through my mind my sub conscience instincts began to prepare my body for a fight. A body perfectly toned by 40 years of diligently eating only the finest, gas station sandwiches, McDonald's, Burger King, etc. I was also, during those years of preparing my body, very careful to avoid all movement that might be mistaken for exercise, so as to be sure not to waste a single calorie which might be needed in some future unforeseen emergency (such as this). Adrenaline began to flow and muscles began to tense like cables. Reflexes honed by years of horror films prepared for action. At the same time an idle thought occurred to me, if, on the off chance I should lose this impending fight to the death, would the coroner, or forensics team, (or anyone for that matter) be able to tell from my remains what position I was in at the moment of death? Would the digestive tract remove all evidence? Would they be able to tell if I had gone down fighting like a super hero, or mearly assumed the fetal position and cried like a little girl? Would they tell anyone?
About this time I felt a massive impact to my chest. Had another (as yet undetected) wolf, lion, mutant bear, T rex hybrid launched itself at me? Connecting with my chest? I tore my eyes from the first threat to steal a peek at the newest one. I fully expected to see another wolf, lion, mutant bear, T rex hybrid lying at my feet with a crushed skull, broken neck or at the very least unconscious from the impact. There was nothing there! Had the impact with my well fortified chest thrown the animal into the next county? Had the first animal accelerated beyond the speed of light and thereby disrupted the space time continuum so it could hit me while still appearing 10 or 15 yards away? Not likely.
As this passed through my mind, the first threat was closing the gap. It had reached the 10 foot mark, and began to slow, which gave me more time to assess threat number two. I had never felt an impact quite like this before. There was no equal and opposite reaction. I had not been pushed back at all! Then it happened again and I was ready. This time I realised the impact wasn't an impact at all, mearly my adrenalin gorged heart doing it's best to circulate the vast amount of adrenalin throughout my body.
Now that I had conquered threat number two I focused my mind on the first threat once again. I noticed the wolf, mt. lion, mutant bear, T rex had slowed considerably. It stopped at a hole for just a second before entering. I have seen the reaction of a mother when she hears her offspring scream in pain or terror, she will assess the situation and run to aid the distressed offspring. I also know that the animal world is quite similar. I now know if a person were to stand a few feet from a den and make a rabbit distress sound, the mother jack rabbit will react pretty much the same! :whew:
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Great story! :yoyo: :yoyo: :yoyo:
I needed that.
Well written and FUNNY FUNNY
I am glad you did not get killed that would not look good in the paper.... :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
Most excellent story :yoyo: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :laf: I have felt the same emotions and the one thing I've found is that being on top of the food chain doesn't stop running from being the first thought through the mind sometimes.
Good gahd. I peed a little bit. :roflmao:
Ya done good 5shots, ya done good :wink:
Great story. :congrats: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
:roflmao: :roflmao: That's a good one! You oughta publish that in a magazine! :roflmao:
:laf: :laf: :laf: :laf: :laf: :laf: :laf:. good Story cc
:roflmao: :roflmao: :hahaha: :hahaha: lol :doh2: :doh2:
I hope ya dont mind I printed that one and you credit at the end......GOOD ONE!...... :roflmao: :roflmao:
Good story, :roflmao: :roflmao:
:roflmao: :roflmao: Nuttier than a squirrel turd is all I can say bout that!! :yoyo: :yoyo:
I think when you have some time (rather than calling) you should write. Experiences like this one need to be shared with Field and Stream and many other magazines.
Jerry
:laf: :laf: :roflmao: :roflmao: Good one !!
Here I thought it might be one of Nasty's turkey's,
they think they're on the top of the food chain there. :eyebrownod:
Quote from: Semp on June 15, 2009, 05:57:15 AM
:roflmao: :roflmao: That's a good one! You oughta publish that in a magazine! :roflmao:
I have spend most of the day thinking of publishing. I have concluded that it would not be in my best interest. Why the health issues alone! If I publish, the next thing you know they would want more, all those calories I have so carefully saved would soon be used up typing stories. Then, there are the fans who would surely be hanging around....I would be forced to run to the mail box to collect my fan mail and bags of money from the publishers. Carrying bags of fan mail and money while running is sure to cause back problems requiring medication to ease the pain. Then after some time has passed, someone would write a newer and better story and my fans and publishers would forget that I even exist. The deafening quiet would be great for a while, but would soon turn to boredom and lonesomeness, this would most definitely drive me to alcohol and drugs, a short step from the pain medication. In the end I would have spent the bags of money on drugs and alcohol, leaving no other choice but to resort to begging total strangers to let me do unmentionable acts to support my habits, ending with me lying face down in the gutter looking forward to a pauper burial
Quote from: FinsnFur on June 15, 2009, 05:25:55 AM
Good gahd. I peed a little bit. :roflmao:
I removed that part of the story (amongst others) due to time and size restrictions. :biggrin:
Well at least we can say that we knew you for your five minutes of fame - without the fortune. I can see your point in that with all the groupies that would be with you you would only have to have one of them with one of "those" diseases and you would end up in the gutter even sooner.
Jerry
:readthis: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
That was funny . But I did have a coyote sneak up on Me while Turkey hunting one tome and it lunged at me . all I had time to do was fire to hopefully scare it away.
:hahaha: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:
Too funny!!
Jim
That was really good. I didn't know you could write like that!!
Brad
Quote from: Brad H on June 17, 2009, 09:12:45 AM
That was really good. I didn't know you could write like that!!
Brad
Ditto! Good tale. I enjoyed it the first day but have been kind of busy to reply.
Never got terrified by a rabbit but a mouse and a moose did it to me on different occasions. Here's a couple of me-too stories.
Two elk hunting partners and I noticed grizzly bear tracks all over the little side slot road where we parked our pickup camper near the Palliser River. We talked about the bear as we drifted off to sleep and at that last drowsy moment, the sound of claws scratching on metal and the deep boom of a BIG body on sheet metal convinced all of us instantly that a grizz was climbing over the hood of the pickup to reach the camper's sleeper extension above the cab. Three men grabbing rifles, pants, boots, and flashlights in a dark camper felt like a stampede in a breaking corral. It turned out to be a mouse or larger rodent of some kind running around in an old discarded refrigerator shell supported off the ground by nearby brush, that magnified sound like a metal drum head. Got my adrenaline going again just to remember it.
Night terror II: A long time hunting partner and I were after spring black bear in the Monashees. On a dark overcast night we bedded down inside an old log trapper cabin on the brink of a bank being undercut by a softly gurgling river. I'd seen a grizzly within 75 yards of the cabin a week before. The cabin was tiny, no windows and the only opening was was the empty space where the door had been, within two feet of the edge of the undercut bank so that we had to sidle into the cabin. Somebody had recently stretched a plastic sheet over the leaky roof so as the dark clouds spit a little rain we decided to sleep on the dry dirt floor rather than pitch a tent. Each of us lay his rifle beside him, magazine full, chamber empty.
Sometime in the darkest part of the night, the splashing sounds of a a BIG animal wading across the river woke me. Before it gained the bank on our side, I was sitting up clutching my rifle, eyes wide trying to see the door space against the night. The big animal crumbled some dirt getting up the bank and stood just outside the cabin. I could hear it breathing and hear water dripping on the sand from its body. Then it moved off. From the darkness beside me came a whisper that told me my partner was also sitting up in his sleeping bag. "DID YOU HEAR THAT!!!?" he breathed in a hoarse whisper.
Both of us had grizzly on the brain, but daylight showed tracks of a moose that almost rubbed on the corner of the cabin.
:roflmao:
A Grizzly Moose perhaps? :wink:
T rex wearing moose print boots? :roflmao: :roflmao: :biggrin:
Those are good too.
As far as publishing.....we alreary got 2 famous authors now and i'm not sure i could hold a candle to them. :biggrin:
Besides, I got no contacts. :doh2:
OK time for the truth....I saw the rabbit as I pulled up. I decided to mess with it. I didn't know there was a den or how close it was. Then afterwards I got to thinking "That could have scared someone" and spent the rest of the day thinking about it and so, achieved my 15 minutes of fame.
Thanks everyone!!!! :biggrin:
He's lying.....he crapped his britches. :laf:
Yep. I think the first version was the true one. :roflmao:
:readthis: :roflmao: :roflmao: :biggrin:
Quote from: 5 SHOTS on June 17, 2009, 07:10:06 PM
Besides, I got no contacts. :doh2:
Hope you have a pair of glasses then. :huh:
Sure enjoyed the stories fellers! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
:roflmao:
Quote from: vvarmitr on June 24, 2009, 04:34:04 PM
Quote from: 5 SHOTS on June 17, 2009, 07:10:06 PM
Besides, I got no contacts. :doh2:
Hope you have a pair of glasses then. :huh:
Sure enjoyed the stories fellers! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
OK, it took me a second or two...... :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :innocentwhistle: