Craigslist add *thumbs up*

[Silencer]

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown,
Savannah)

Reply to: pers-982078099@craigslist.org
[?]Date:2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black
Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse
and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message.

I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol
after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason
that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we
hadjust picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't
it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your
pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of
your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your
card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet
itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel
recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a
day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't
permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone
calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I
know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted
mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already
washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you
for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider
your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! 
     

[FinsnFur]

  and the next day they find your body gang raped and in a dumpster