Why I'm inthe ram pasture for maybe ever.

[pitw]

Well I must say it is still cool here but I have a lot of quiet.
Yesterday I take my loving wife and head for Camrose and on the way I stop at the "serve" for gas and a chat. I'm standing talking to the owner who I spent 12 years in school with and a couple come in and she say's it's cold here. "where you from" I say and she says "Medicine Hat". Where you going" I enquire, "St Walburg" she says and I say my wife came from there. The fellow says "Really, whats her name". Now my wife is off to my left about two steps back when I reply "Stupid most of the time". By the shock on the womans face I can tell she wasn't expecting this and by watching her eyes I had a pretty good idea when to duck. My wife missed me with a round house that probably would have put an elephant down for the count and her forward motion not being impeded carried her right into this other lady. The fellow says "I understand now" to which his wife reacted by elbowing him close to where the legs attach to the body. I'm seriously enjoying this action from the other two and I can only watch as my wife leaves the serve and gets in the van and leaves. {it got worse}.

[wvhillbillyhowler]

 :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[FinsnFur]

It got worse, he says. :roflmao: :roflmao:

Barry you started the story with the words, "my loving wife". But things went south in a big hurry

Ahhhh boy that is some good stuff

[pitw]

Well Jim you should have been around for the next part. My wife had made a date for supper with another couple that I had to go with her to. Since she had been complaining about me not getting a hair cut for six months I thought maybe that would be my ticket out of my latest indiscretion. I knew the van wasn't coming back so I borrowed Pete's truck and drove to Wainwright and got my Barber [old fart that I helped get his first elk two years ago] to give me a cut. Only I had him leave the right side and do the left side short, plus he trimmed my mustache only on the right side. Pete dang near died laughing when I got back and drove me home. When the wife gets home with my much lighter wallet she sees me and doesn't say a word but I kinda could tell by her color that I was getting close to the line.

[FinsnFur]

You cannot be serious! :roflmao:

[Frogman]

I would love to see a picture of that haircut and trim!!  Some photos of the bruises would be good too??

Jim

[pitw]

I would love to see a picture of that haircut and trim!!  Some photos of the bruises would be good too??

Jim

Sorry Jim but as you have probably noticed I don't do pictures of me on the net. [kinda/sorta like to surprise my enemies].   

[alscalls]

  :roflmao: :roflmao:

[pitw]

Well I gotta go to a birthday party now  to make up for last night as  supper turned out much as I expected. The wife and I met the other couple at the restaurant and she is to put it mildly a bit of a prude and he is the type of whipped dude that has always scared me [Golly he would love to do what I did]. The tables were about half full and our waitress could be best described as a bit of a [female dog], to put it nicely. The prude and my wife were not into any conversation and the fellow was to scared of his wife to talk. So I sat there like the cheshire cat taking my time and enjoyed chatting with the three bikers at the next table and listening to the laughter around us. The other three ate quickly and the waitress came to get there dish's. I was only half done my food when she came around to my side of the table and asked "Are you done with your plate" she asked in a tone that put me on a bit of an edge. I instantly replied "I guess so if you need it that bad", and picked it up, scraped the food onto the place mat. I handed the horrified [female dog] the plate and continued eating even with the tears welling in my eyes from the sudden pain that was caused by someones boot connecting with legs[that one left a mark]. The bikers and everyone else around were having a high old time but my companions appeared a bit miffed. Up they get and leave me with the bill and no ride home again. I was asked by the bikers to join them and after they had eaten and laughed a lot they would give me a ride home as they were going west anyway. Upon going to the till to pay for supper the owner said while laughing that the meal was on him as he said "that was more entertainment than I could hire and I've been trying to train the waitress to quit rushing people and I believe you cured her". Once home [you married guys will know this one] I figured I'd better not push my luck and stayed well clear of the bedroom door that if it wasn't locked was probably wired with a zillion volts. Made some popcorn and went down to the couch by the fire and placed all of the boys Lego's around it on the floor for a defensive warning.

[Bills Custom Calls]

  :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

I would never dream of doing that

Although tonight at supper HaMer caused me to get a very dirty look 

[FinsnFur]

Boy I had you all wrong Barry. :roflmao:  I never imagined you to walk such a thin line through life.

Let us know how the perimeter alarm system works.
Just your luck she'll cut her feet, fall over and crack her head.

[Hawks Feather]

Barry,

It sounds like you might be in line for a new wife.  Either that or you WIDOWED spouse will get a new husband after she the kids lay you to rest.   

Jerry

[pitw]

She's really quite good about it really.  After she got home today and seen that I had the Barber fix up the doo she even made supper and I'm clean as a whistle now.  I might add that I was on my best behavior at the birthday party aside from running to the can a lot

[msmith]

Oh man! These stories are SWEET! LOL  :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

[Tikaani]

I have to tell you Barry, having talked to you over the phone and in the chat room, these stories come as no big surprise.   

John